in case you haven't heard.....i am contemplating ..and I mean:
C-O-N-T-E-M-P-L-A-T-I-N-G.....opening a "store" of my own here.....in good old Goteborg.....that i hope will become a MEGLO-MANIA empire someday.....ALL over EUROPE....and make me "very very rich"...now there's a laugh!
(if it has failed to escape you, i am about as close to being bored out of my skull as a human can possibly be...)
and,I am here to tell you-as an aside-being bored and having time on ones hands absolutely does not equate to "getting all those things done that you always said- if only i had the time to DO that!...." done at all.
All of those things are still sitting around UNdone.....natch!
take it from me-you actually get more of "those things" done if you are actually working a 10 hour day than sitting on the balcony watching your geraniums grow....
Now, this undertaking that I am CONTEMPLATING....is hopefully involving darling "Laney"- (she of the 25th birthday party last week.....) ....it involves clothing, and it involves us "girls" over 35 or 40.....and involves using whatever brians and talents that I aquired over 23 or so years as a Garmento..... 'nuf said -for now.....
Upon moving to this fair Polar Ice Cap country, I was informed ( probably by another -dare i say- cynical American) that once you became a 35 year old women here - you cut your hair off to a "bob" , gained weight to become somewhat box-like in appearance, and put on the "uniform" of the Swedish Middle Aged Woman- ( here-in-after called the "SMAW") Your apprel for this major segment of your life was to be limited to in the summer : neutral-colored capris and 3/4 sleeve knit top with practical shoes- and in WINTER: black or grey long pants or jeans and a warmer version of above....
Not so far from the truth, i've come to find out....(in all fairness- back "in my country" - out the other side of the Hudson River at least....there is also a "uniform".....and one that is not generally any more flattering than the swedish one here...bearing remarkable similarities in fact..but I digress...)
So somewhere along the way - in the sheer boredom of it all-watching my geraniums grow- and hearing everybody, but everybody, say to me:
"Go out on your own! You can do it!-"
as surely as my geraniums made it through May and are now the Visual Joy of my balcony....the idea festered and grew in my head until I finally said....
"well, yes, maybe I can do that!..."
the husband was ecstatic.....( "oh God,she appeared to be moving- at least!....")
Now an advantage to living in a Socialist Country- is that there is a government agency for absolutely everything- and there are levels and layers of such persons out there just to help any kind of idiot such as myself that has been caught sniffing her geraniums for too long and assumes perhaps she can do more.....and i came ot learn that they are DYING for entrepreneurs such as myself....
"even if you don't really have an idea formulated, come on in! We'll help you!"
cue in :the unemployed of Volvo and Saab.
So ,armed with a list of no less than 10 people in assorted Entrepreneurial Agencies out there to help me, I started off on Monday a.m. to see :
person #1. Mind you- I had no real idea what this person DID- her title was in swedish- but I was told she'd be one of the best to help me-supposeldy she was of the the "I Can Help You If You Don't Speak Swedish Department" -(or so I was told)....
not exactly - but turns out she was a good enough place to start-
indeed: I had landed in the MONEY department!
Well, we and the Money Department had a lovely typical "swedish meeting"- began and ended with natch! -coffee..... and a bunch of the "....hmmmm...ah hmmmm....ah hah....JA.....JA HAH!....oKAYYY! " kinda stuff...
I left feeling invigorated and psyched. She'd promised to send me forms to help me start setting up a Business Plan that afternoon.....
and yes,soon enough, FOUR huge documents arrived to my INBOX-
and
( .....now, never you mind that THIS is the one department that everyone advised me that was THE department that handled all of us ignorant-non-swedish -speaking individuals- and was specifically designed to do that- )
you guessed it-
they arrived all in SWEDISH.....
and so I arrive at my:
SWEDISH WORD OF THE DAY-"SKRAMMANDE" --( with the 2 dots over the 1st "A")-
which equates the only way I can describe this massive stack of SWEDISH BUSINESS PLAN paperwork-in english- DAUNTING!
well, this is a word I might actually remember..... SKRAMmande. (SCRAM!?!? doesn't my good common sense head tell me I'd better run /scram right the other direction from all this!?)
So here I sit- me and two huge stacked copies of all this SWEDISH paperwork!-
and a business plan nonetheless-( the thing "Olivia" and I couldn't ever even put together in ENGELSKA for our "thing" back home even!)
and I'm sitting here with the same stuff -
in SWEDISH-
( oh I said that 50 times already-rriiiiiggggghhhhhttt......)
now that's all the SKRAMMANDE - I need for a while!.....
that and my next meeting this afternoon- with the Director of Creative Services- who I was informed will be able to give me all kinds of great clues as to whether or not my idea of pulling the SMAW ( that same Swedish MiddleAged Woman) out of her khaki capris into something a bit more SPANNANDE-with 2 dots over the 1st "A")-( hah! didn't think I knew that one -did ya!? that's " EXCITING", btw!) is actually VALID....
or ya wanna make a bet- that's not exactly what she's about either?......we'll see .......
LESSON for the SOUL:so, just when you think you've reached the HILL, it just turns out that you've just really reached a FOOT HILL to MOUNT EVEREST!.....) It doesn't mean you can't climb it- but you need to bear in mind it's gonna be a helluva climb!!!!
Swedish WORD FOR the DAY:- (forgive the dotlessness of this)- as above:
SKRAMMANDE- as in: "it's a bit SKRAMMANDE to think about trying to inject a little bit of SPANNANDE into the SMAW's wardrobe....".
this-is one SKRAMMANDE task that i am sure, is to be continued.....
cue in: geraniums and more sniffing.....
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