Monday, December 7, 2009

the (rare, elusive and fervently longed for) GOLDEN ORB



this...
it is ordained, is the entire key to my happiness....
and ...
to my sanity.....
This is what I hope and pray for every day when I wake up.....
just even a little bit.....
jsut to glimse a sight of ....
the elusive, the rare, the precious beyond words......

the GOLDEN ORB......

known normally as the SUN...
but see the word SUN connotates too much for what I could EVEN hope to get.....Sun has connotations of WARMTH, HEAT, EYE-SHEILDING, STRAPPY DRESSES, BIKINIS, SUN
all of which ......

never happens here......

It has rained pretty much without exception every day since I've gotten back from New York.....all of November and now into december......That's been OVER a month now......

and, on my morning walks to the bus to SFI( aka Swedish torture language class).....I have since come to discover that there are a bunch of
numskullheads over here that have painted their houses this pale pissy light light blueish grey in the part of Goteborg where we live... ( well, I saw it all summer, but it didn't bother me then as much...)

..... UNTIL I realized, that the dull perpetually grey paint on these houses.....
perfectly MATCH the COLOR of this grey dismal crap sky that is what we know as DAYTIME , in these here parts.....
So, they blend in,perfectly....in fact,
so well, that , walking around in the "daylight":

I have to be careful NOT to RUN INTO ONE of them!!!!!....

oh, for a sighting of the GOLDEN ORB....how I wish my SUNLAMP prescribed to me by my beloved old shrink back in New York( YES! there we have shrinks- thank God....) How I wish it diidn't wind up BUSTEDon the floor of my storage unit in Queens.....

I'll take FAKE LIGHT.....
......any light.....

(and it seems I'll also take ANY GOOD excuse- such as this - to wiggle out of studying this MORK FORM ORK LANGUAGE that i have to study!......)

Swedish PHRASE of the DAY:
SOLEN SKINER ! aka-THE SUN IS SHINING- and that's [WHEEENER ] to you engelska folks- WHEEE NERRRR! ( and ANOTHER queer as hell word for the swedish vocabulary)

LESSON FOR THE SOUL FOR THE DAY:
God made the SUN and that's WHY we should have some of it! ALL OF US!!!!even up here on the Polar Ice Cap.....

I should start a Golden Orb Devotional Society around here....... every month, just a trip to go find somewhere where it STILL exists......

i know : grumble and pray, grumble and PRAY.......
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Sunday, December 6, 2009

grow a RYGGRAD , won't you!?




Lest ye think that I can only complain about Sweden......

I am by nature....

a complainer.

Nothing is immune from my eye, ears, tongue or whatever, when I am in the mood to analyze, pick it apart or otherwise dis-embowel it.

I come from New York,( after a childhood in Texas- which explains the LOUD part at least..) and as blessed and happy a lot as we are in New York.....

we are also-
complainers.

Admitedlly or not, the whole lot of us is.

From sun-up to sun down , there is- thankfully....
always something to complain about.

The deli was slow with the bagel this morning, the subway was hung up and we were late....The boss is in a crappy mood ( and there so goes mine), my favourite restaurant closed/was taken over by new management......the tickets are too expensive/too hard to get...you name it. Why that homeless man always hangs out right there every single day just to TRIP ME when I get out of the subway.......The cab driver was from XXXX and has no business driving in this frickin' city till he learns where Saks FIFTH AVENUE is!,etc, etc,etc...

So,after years of practice, I arrived , bag and boxload to this land, simply becuase I was in love with my husband.....

.....armed for another fight.....

I didn't even really have to skip a beat. I arrived to Karlskrona a sleepy little town on the East Coast of Sweden, pretty , simple( good things) and VERY ( deathly) QUIET.
There were some very pretty houses and buildings there, there was a stellar museum there, then there were some also some HORRIFICALLY grotesque new buildings stuck up throughout the town, that no matter where you turned a beautiful historical setting was blighted by the site of something that looked like it was built by a ( east) German architect..... god awful.....

it was only shortly thereafter then,that I noticed the excessive quantities of potatoes that I was consuming--why!?

then, I noticed the PRICES on everything! How come we were STAYING HOME for every meal and it was costing us as much or MORE money to live than going out to a restaurant in NYC every night?!

When I realised that I was also living under a cloud of permanenet GREYNESS,and the SUN was an object worthy of stopping in your tracks to stare devotedly up at....

then I really began to have some BEEF to chew on...

Seemed I had traded one hand of disgruntlements for another.....
There was and remains- one big problem- over here...
I do not think that people remotely know how to take my complaints.
and, I am of the firm belief that they actually..... get offended.
I know that the husband was at first tramatized that he had drug me over here to a place that I apparently had few good things to say about.
Until, I finally helped him to realize that ( if he recalled) that I had done just as much complaining back in the Homeland as I did here, then he BEGAN to take it with a grain of salt. He's about the only one that can deal with it.

See, back in MITT HEMLAND ( NYC) complaining is -a way of BONDING- of coming together as part of that Chic but Huddled Mass of Endurers that PUT UP with WHAT we put up with , to eek out the Benefits of living in the "Best City in the World." Over a coffee in the morning,we all stand around and kvetch and kvell about the train with the smelly homeless man on it during rush hour, the bagel with that weird non-food/hard chunk in it that we had to WRETCH UP over.....
and we all would nod in silent agreement , a story offered up by one or two others that would top that- just to let them know, that ,"hey, we all have it rough, and WE UNDERSTAND, you poor thing!" And walk off to our "miserable days' in silent prayer that the chef at the restaurant tonight really WAS back from holiday and the portobello mushrooms would really be exactly as we wanted.....our day made over a culinary fungine masterpiece, at least.....

But as I said, pretty much everyone else over here, takes it as a personal affront when I complain about having to have 5 kr with me out in the city everytime I have to pee...
Or when I complain about how the language sounds more like a language from one of thsoe weird planets that they visited on Star Trek than a HUMAN language- "I am JAG!".....
Or when I bitch about how AWFUL the quality of produce is at Goteborg's "fanciest"( aka "MOST EXPENSIVE" ) food store, that being ICA FOCUS....(which is my neighborhood grocery)....
Or how come that the biggest tourist attraction in this City is an AMUSEMENT Park?!( Liseberg) which I ALSO happen to live near.....

I'd prefer to say that all I am doing , is calling a "spade a spade." I "complain" and go on, relieved that I've gotten it off my chest and that surely everyone else sees it the way I do....

they DON'T?!....

I have this much to say, and I'll be at peace for the day:
Dear Gentle Swede:
a.) grow a backbone and buck up!
b.) realize that certain things DO suck
c.)resolve to change it.....or
d.) LET ME BITCH. and MAYBE even join in with me!
GUARANTEED- with a little practice, we'll ALL feel better for it!

Lesson for the day: When life gives you lemons, soemtimes the best thing you can do is COMPLAIN about how SOUR it is!- and relish in the SOURNESS of it ALL!

Swedish word for the day: RYGGRAD......that's the BACKBONE grow one! please...

i doubt I'm changing my spots anytime soon.....especially here as I sit , huddled in front of the fire, trying to stave off the DARK COLD DAMP of WINTER! okay?......