TV for the Nordic( Armchair ) FIsherman

now mind you , I don't watch tv very often.
at all. 

especially here.

-there are a multitude of problems connected with me and the TV.

and, no, it's not because most of it is in Swedish, because it isn't even. There's a lot of it in english with swedish sub-titles

i know, i know, which would be good for me to watch. if i cared to. 

i don't.

see- first problem is-  I can't turn it on. 

that's real simple. 

I could barely turn on a TV in the US and now that all I get out is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo swedish menu pages everytime I punch a button - that also says something I can't read....

all to watch what- a show in swedish or a horribel American import?( one of SIxten's favourite shows: Jerry Springer.....uhhh.I'll skip that,thanks.....)
So ,you see, I find it very easy to justify the fact that I think excessive TV watching is meant for people that can't figure out what to do meaningful with their lives -("real meaning" like I have indeed, such as these here endless hours on FaceBook and blogging!)

Finally, I firmly believe that TV is not worth much of a crap beyond re-runs of Seinfeld or Sex and the City- ( despite the fact that  I have been told there are things that came AFTER those series ended .....)

Not to say that the men in this house never watch it. becuase they do, while both vehemnetly denying that they watch "alot of it"- ( i know my hubbie is downstairs at this moment watching America's Got Talent- a show this American wouldn't be caught dead watching) but he'd deny it, I'm sure....

However, it is  when total and utter silence descends on the TV ranks( dudes) in this house -

you can bet that winner of all shows - 

"Deadliest Catch" is on.

......and like the Two Great Nordic (Armchair) Fisherman that they are, Hubbie and Sixten are glued to the set with every single crab cage that is pulled out of the icy Alaskan depths, as if they're out there themselves.

 
If you've missed this stellar example of reality series TV( legitimazed somewhat only by the fact that the "educational" Discovery Channel puts it on)- it is a show that week in, week out -

 is exactly the same as.....

 the week before that...

and the week to come after....

...there are a bunch of king crab macho dude fishermen that head out onto the rough seas( for the proper effect -they ONLY go out when the seas are ReAlly RoUgH-) of the Alaskan archipaelago and haul in Alaskan King Crab to sell to hungry gourmands all over.

It's COLD as HELL. 

It's ICY WET EVERYWHERE.

and that is .....apprently both appealing and fun.....

the fishermen and thier grizzled half crazed captain are all men that look like they'd eat the arm off of a ( live)Grizzly Bear for a snack. 

this is TESTOSTERONE ON CRACK.

And my "TOUGH GUYS " here are 1,000% mesmerized by this.

They hang on the word of every captain....... they listen excitedly to the yells and cursing from the guys on the wind-swept deck of the boat- as they pull up yet another huge crab cage. Seriously, I've tried to sit down and watch what this is that keeps them so raptly excited every single time it is on- 

and I truly just don't get it. 

I swear everytime one of these cages is pulled up, it's just replaying the exact same haul that they played 5 minutes earlier. Yet, these guys remain hooked, as if there are IV tubes shooting Magical Armchair Testosterone to them straight from the TV set. They are in a NORDIC SEA DUDE TRANCE. 

Now you can ask them both, isn't this just what happened last week- didn't they go out into the eye of a storm nearly,wasn't the Boat's Captain yelling "take Cover! Big Wave a-comin'!!! ," 

...a-swearing to the cameraman that  he really didn't think any of them would survive it- THIS TIME,really........ 

Wasn't the head Deck Captain sayin',' hell yeah, we got it tough this haul!! 

We haven't found the crabs, 

we gotta find the crabs!! 

and if we don't, man, there's gonna be hell to pay! 

Some of these guys just won't have jobs anymore." 

 Then there's always Rookie Guy ( aka- the pathetic comic relief sucker) , that goes out and makes some major screw -ups and nearly costs the whole damn haul for everyone-

he's usually seen out on deck all by himself, with a wave crashing over his head as he holds on for dear life to some pole, trying to figure out that everyone else went under for cover).

Now both my guys agree- yeah,yeah,....the story is the same every week. 

Right. No, nothing ever really happens.....

but.....

and they trail off.... not able to spit out any further comments than this....

 while the same cage I swear is pulled out of the icy depths AH-Gain and AH-GAIn and AH GAIN.....

THIS time - THIS CATCH- WOAH!- is SOOOO exciting -how could they possibly miss it?!

after it's over life returns to normal-right, until it's time for a Sports Event( track and field seems to suffice for rapt attention that department here.shot putt anyone? WOAH!)

Lesson for the Soul for the day- Thank God for the invention of INANE television and the MEN that can fall comatose in front of it. It's  perfect combination- and frees me up to do all sorts of things.Women who had to keep their men amused before the advent of TV, must have had it really tough indeed.

swedish word for the day: this is how they teach it to you at school- and just because I think it's funny.....

let's just play with the word for "TV" in swedish -

this gets funny I promise you..... 

here ya go: 

en teve- that is "a tv." ....pronounced pretty much the same but more EH to it.... like EN TEH-VEH  ( still I can work with it....)

now this is the funnier part:

teven is THE TV,- huh??

tever- is TV's- .....plural, yep....... as when your go to Circuit City and ask "Where are the TEVER?"

teverna -( not to be confused with a TAVERNA- but damn close,no ,no) that's THOSE TV's"-    

as in: 

"Well, ma' am, yes TEVERNA HAR are really nice, but, unfortunately ma'am, it's TEVERNA DAR that are the ones that you saw the special ad on in the paper." 

"gee, thanks,Mister,I think I'll pass....."