VACUUMING and the SWEDISH FOOT

disclaimer- this is most definitely not me in the photo.

now one must understand this:

A Swedish floor -is 

a CLEAN -floor. 

Mighty clean. 

now, this was not something that I necessarily knew before I arrived here. In my carefully arranged "Personal Beliefs on Cultural Behaviors Section of My Brain", I had always thought that it was the GERMANS that had the clean floors- not necessarily the Swedes.( forgive me , frankly, if I actually even thought much ABOUT Swedes at all- their floors -or anything beyond Ingmar Bergman - prior to marrying one...)

but, no, I can tell you: the Swedes have CLEAN FLOORS. 

I've told you of my husband's genetically predisposed habit" of vacuuming on the weekends ,right? ( please recall- I do not vacuum. I SWEEP but I do not vacuum- at least not hardwood floors-makes no sense to me.) He vacuums hard wood floors even and ,as best I can tell, he does NOT have that kind of attachment on that vacuum cleaner- of his. 

Now, vacuuming on the weekend reminds me of all kinds of things- 

and that's mostly the desire to -get out. 

You see back in Mitt Hemland, my cleaning lady came on Saturday morning- and vacuumed- (not well, God knows - as Olivia who uses that same "cleaning" - and I use that term loosely-lady can attest to)-

but I heard the vacuum cleaner on Saturday morning- and it was time -to get out. Off to brunching,marketing, shopping, etc.... It was a bell I responded well to. 

It hasn't changed. I still want to run the other direction when I hear it. ( Did I tell you my old Yorkie was DEATHLY AFRIAD of the VACUUM CLEANER - and ironing boards ,too,come to think of it, but as always- I digress...)

And when My Darling Swede vacuums there are also the requisite nasty Spousal Allegations that fly in the air-"Well, if you did it, during the week,then I wouldn't have to on the weekend." " IT HAS to be done. SOMEONE HAS to do IT." -that kind of thing. He vacuums. I sulk and think of long-ago weekends upstairs ( hiding ) ......

soooooo.....whatever-

the whole point to me -is on some level at least- why do it at all? We have WOOD FLOORS everywhere- with rugs- which I could consider vacuuming from time to time- but really, I sweep fairly regularly- To me sweeping hardwood floors -with the occassional wash-down - is enough- or am I way off base here!?

and lest my Darling Husband think not- I definitely SWEEP when I see a Dust Bunny -okay!?

Point is I don't see them apparently often enough. Don't get me wrong-i'm not a slob. I like a neat home- inclusive of those nasty shoes PUT UP UNDER the bench. Last nights coffee mugs removed. The remains of LUNCH put away and cleaned up. I'm not neurotic- but I'm not a real slob at all. And I don't like Dust Bunnies more than anyone else- unless, by some miracle they've gotten large enough that they actually aquire names- THEN , they're really FUN!

But this remains a - burning- issue- straight to the SOLES of MY- INDOOR SHOES.

BUt- ahah- as sometimes can happen in 47 year old brains- last week, I had a revelation. 

REALLY- 

( sometimes I scare myself)

The whole thing started to make sense to me when I had some friends over for dinner. I started to realize that there was- perhaps- a connections between VACUUMING and the SHOES OFF thing.

I had had some lovely American friends over last week - who kindly- God Bless You Wonderful American Women left thier shoes on in my home. ( I felt vindicated, normal, happy and loved. ahhh!!) I had assured their Good Ex-Pat Selves that the husband ws away and they were more than free to do so. Well, while they were here, bread was cut, pastry was eaten, and apparently crumbs accumulated on the floor of the kitchen. Normal enough.

Then, the next morning, I did something that I rarely do and went downstaris to make coffee- BAREFOOT.

Yeech! Crumbs all over my feet. I had forgotten to SWEEP-which I normally do- really! Memories of my youth on the Texas Gulf Coast returned - a land where everyone went barefoot, year 'round- because we COULD- everyone barefoot- but me. I always hated sand grit on my toes. 

And I hated this,too. I swept up the groid immediately and carried on. But then, I'd say "somewhere after the second cup", it dawned on me, WHY perhaps these guys are always vacuuming-

 

These people are barefoot. Thus-to avoid crud on their feet- they want a CLEAN FLOOR.

okAY!!..........( cue: 100 watt light bulbs going off in brain....)

i thought on it for a while. 

and I thought some more...

this was a major Cultural Riff that I figured deserved my best considerations.

And you know ( i bet you do) KNOW the answer I came up with ,RIGHT!?

WEAR SHOES IN YOUR HOUSE! DAMN IT!!!

and thus AVOID THE "NATURAL" accumulation of FLOOR GROID, which I promise to clean- when it becomes a -Visual Issue to - ME.

- it's real simple... the whole thing made sense.

You know how before someone comes over- you make a general attempt to "clean"- tidy up a bit? Same story over here. I bustle about a bit, putting up the stack of folded underwear in the drawer that I'd been meaning to do all week. Giving the coffee table a dusting ,perhaps.....the usual.

And the hubbie helps ,too.( the joys of an egalitarian swedish man- I was told -and they're right- they DO housework!!!)

So when that time comes around here - and the guests are literally on the horizon- remember this is a country where nothing is really too much of a rush.....The hubbie hurriedly begins to pitch in and -goes straight for - YOU GUESSED it- the VACUUM CLEANER. He then proceeds to give EVERY SINGLE FLOOR the colonoscopy of its life, and vacuums and vacuums and vacuums and bitches and vacuums some more. Usually a MOST pleasant afternoon....

If it were up to him- the floors would be SPARKLING CLEAN- and the stack of underwear could still be out. I swear. I've seen him "clean" the entire bottom floor in this house and still leave coffee cups and old napkins - (from SOMEONE's grrrr...late night BLECH! coffee) -sitting on the coffee table when guests come walking in.

To him- it's real simple- a CLEAN FLOOR is a CLEAN HOUSE.

And -of course- he is fully aware that his guests have come over -so I believe- just to- take their shoes off - (and maybe have a coffee and a chat....)- that's the part I just don't get......

Someday- no joke- (and I do have a great VISUAL dream of this)- I AM serving DINNER on the FLOOR- to guests and all. Probably after a Great Future Battle - that I am sure is still down the pike for us. ......complete with candelabra and drippy candles....I can see it now....It makes me feel good just to plan it for someday.....

sooo....Lesson for the SOLE today:-Boy! there aren't a whole lot of easy lessons this week, really. this is a NUT I can't seem to crack.Is it to continue wearing shoes- at least - in your own home?and encourage others futiley to do the same? Is that a lesson - does that really count!?

Swedish Word for the Day- a very famous swedish word indeed- and one to which all my fellow swedish classmates get the biggest kick out of- DAMMSUGARE- VACUUM CLEANER- in swedish-yeech!

a quick note as to why this is so "DAMM" amusing, is the fact that the Swedes have a favourite pastry called the DAMMSUGARE- reason being is because it is a brown and green marzipan horror ( IMHO!) in the shape of a tube that apparently looks just like the vacuum cleaners that were in every swedish home back in the 1950's.

Now i'm all for "vintage inspiration"-especially in pastry- 

but.....forgive me if I'm wrong, ....

isn't the scary thing that they even have these pastries named "VACUUM CLEANERS" at all?