Tuesday, September 8, 2009

on the perceivable differences between an American and Swedish Foyer-FOAJE



















.....there is no self- respecting blog by an American ex-pat living in Sweden that doesn't involve at least a comment about Swedes and shoes.....

and how they really feel about this ancient contraption that they have to place on their feet from time to time to protect them from the vagaries of the world beneath them....

and let's get this straight right now- no matter what else is said here- I WEAR shoes in my own HOME -from getting out of the bed til I go to sleep at night. Period. I cannot now or ever- see this changing.

That being said for the record- I shall commence with this- 

the  Entry Way dissertation.....


....now,if you've never been to Sweden before- the first time you enter a swedish home you are hit with it- 
the Shoe ( and coats and scarves and gloves and hats) Ditchin' Area. This is a Major Component of Swedish Living.No home is without it. Period.

and this area is RIGHT INSIDE- the FRONT DOOR. Often ( especially in a lägenheter-rental)- it is a less-than -attractive( oops! did I accidentally say IKEA there?- SEE ABOVE ) METAL contraption  ( frequently bolted to the wall!) that is intent on housing these items- being top part A for Coats and bottom part B - for shoes. This is usually carelessly overloaded, (  and unless company is coming over strewn in about a meter and half wide swath of Shoedom and Scarfdom all over ) - often times looking more like a Salvation Army Winter Items Sale than an Attractive Welcoming Area for a guest to arrive in charm and comfort into ones' home- ( a.k.a. back in MITT HEMLAND- that would be often the demi-lune/entry way table with the charming chackas on it set out to entertain ,delight and gently amuse your guest).

Now-often here, it can be that a more attractive attempt has been made form the metal rod IKEA contraption, granted: There's the wood cute heart cut-out versions, the wicker basket versions, the hand-painted versions,and better,etc..... I'm happy to say-most of my friends have the slightly better versions...

but this area is something that is specially and uniquely "swedish".

You see, a guest to your home has arrived desirous of 2 things above all else - 
#1-the desire to DITCH their shoes off thier feet as fast as they can( sometimes with vengeance, I do believe) and
#2- then to as quickly there-after give you a charming Hostess gift- for even the smallest of Occassions. (now THAT PART is indeed very charming - and not the part of this whole Arrival Event of which I complain- least I never receive another bottle of wine ! ^_- ! )

Often off, half-way inside the door, they want to hurl these Vile Shoe Things  off ASAP! -really, in a term of immediate respect- to you and the floors that you keep in your home that you could eat your dinner off of, if you wanted.

When a foreigner, observing this behavior for the first time, one might perhaps assume they are in Japan- they being well -known "Shoes Off" people. 

A quick look around at the blond hair and blue-eyed crowd will quickly reinforce however that- no,Dorothy-
you are- 
not - 

in Kyoto.

When I first moved over here- I had to have this explained to me - ( assumedly I walked right into someone's home with my shoes on and my husband had to politely grab me and whisper in my ear to ditch my shoes- )
Frankly, I recall I panicked a bit. 
Gee! what if I had socks with holes?! 
What-KRICKY!- if I had worn socks that didn't match my outfit because I ( apparently incorrectly) assumed that my boots would be covering them the whole night? 
Agh! my pants, that I have hemmed to just the right length for the shoes-that-I-usually-wear-with-these-pants, were going to drag on the floor and have to be dry-cleaned (which I couldn't afford here)!?
-HORROR!  The whole look I had carefully put together was going to be ruined AND  I was going to look 5 KG fatter because I was wearing those heels to compensate for that weight i'd put on from the POTATOES around here!?

Worst of all-  ( and even living on the Polar Ice Cap- no one has a sane answer for me on this one-)
What if my feet were cold?!?

When I first arrived here as a poor little immigrant- oh, back in January of '07, I moved in and without a thought, and NATCH! - I wore shoes in my new "home". Never you mind that when I moved here, I was living with my husband  and his two grown sons who have seriously 3 pairs of the biggest feet I have ever seen- and MYCKET pairs of GYNORMOUS SHOES TRAILED anywhere within a meter and half around the front door...on a set-up not dissimilar to the one photoed above.....yeech!

It was a clue that I didn't even pick up on - for some time....."They" went barefoot or slid around in socks and I - WORE SHOES in the house. as IF there was a question....

I later came to find out that my husband had had to explain this odd American behavior to his kids on the side (seriously)....

" See, guys,..... what she is wearing in the house here are her 'INDOOR SHOES' " ....

uhhh.....right....even they realized soon enough that the heavy winter boots that I was wearing were.....not.....

my "INDOOR SHOES".

You see, also i MITT HEMLAND- there are only a few certain types of people that would be "vulgar" enough to require that you take off shoes inside their home:

a.) the friend that just paid a fortune to install new white wall-to-wall carpeting - closely related to the "occassional" pretentious freak- that wants to MAKE you KNOW how CLEAN and PERFECT her home is becuase it is vacuumed every two days....(and YOURS isn't!?)

b.) the naturalist freak- that is afraid of the pesticides and other chemical-y things that you might drag into their Oats-n-Granola pad .....

c.)or the new Mommy- afraid of the same pesticides as the category B type above- that might be visited  on their new baby's gentle nostrils...

For God's sake,people:

"Sex and the City" did a whole episode about this once- remember when Carrie lost her Manolo's becuase someone stole them in the "shoe melee" at a party once when she went to the home of an above listed "category A" -(or was that a Category C )friend? It was a tragedy of EPIC PROPORTIONS- or at least worth a 30 minute segment. Not only did poor Carrie have to ruin her outfit for the party without the shoes on, she lost a brand new $400 pair of shoes out of the whole thing when some unscrupulous guest "upgraded" on the way out the door...accusations ensued, the friend forked over SOME of the money to pay her back for her lost shoes- but not all of it --as i recall- and in the end- Carrie had to write her friend off as being more of a control -freak bitch than she had considered her to be.

I refuse to be considered any of these types. Period. In Mitt Hemland- people that require that you take off shoes in their home are generally percieved as some version of a "pretentious snot" - no matter if they are A , B  or C types.

In my new home here,I consider myself to be a testing ground for the reaction of the average Swede arriving to a home - not exactly laid out with the Shoe Ditchin' Area DIRECTLY INSIDE. Not intentionally, my Shoe and Coat Cesspool Area is a bit undefined here now. A guest to my home has to enter an interior stairwell in my apartment to even arrive on the upstairs landing  to this "area". Once arrived there, even then- mine is, in swedish term, is a mightely poorly defined area.  I have a huge French Poster instead of a Coat Hanging Contraption-OBS!  and under it, only have a bench with the "family shoes" ( the hubbies' and Sixten's shoes- not mine God Forbid!) crammed underneath it. And then!-  the COATS have to come off and be hung in a closet across the "American Foyer"-( insert visual of - Entry Way Table with amusing Shells to "intrigue and delite" ) Area opposite that. I've seen Swedes and even the average well- indoctrinated ex-pat get at the least a titch nervous and caught off guard when entering my home, when welcomed by my "Decidedly Alien Ditching Area", and when greeted with my  cheery assertive," PLEASE feel free to leave your shoes on here!" I have to admit, I get a giggle at least every time....I'm sorry to say.....

As insulting as it is to a swedish person to leave shoes ON in their home- 
-a good friend knows in MY house- they leave their shoes ON to not insult me.

I think it will always be a challenge for me- and not wanting to be rude, I generally try to comply- but sometimes I do honestly forget to Ditch. And IF any of my swedish friends have read thus far- I'm not MEANING to "insult" or "horrify" if I walk into your home and forget to take my shoes off.....

I just truly - do  not - think- of - it-----

at all....


apparently my god given "right to wear shoes"- has been taken away from me- here...


Lesson for the SOLE today- 

God grant me the patience to accept cultural differences...( seems I've asked for this before.....)...and to squelch that desire  to shout out - " You'd think this is frickin' JAPAN around here!!!" every single time i have to remove my shoes in someones'  home......

or to screech "UGH! "-every single time I have to pick up the hubbie's or Sixten's shoes and cram them under the bench- where- need I remind them- where - they-BELONG!

Swedish Word for the Day- FOAJE- that's a FOYER..... or Shoe Ditching Area.

'nuf said for the day!- at least I got you - in the door- 

believe me - the plot thickens.....







4 comments:

Kara said...

I am so disappointed. Maybe I just missed it but you seem to have said NOTHING about the mid-winter huddle where everyone waits in line at the front door - with the door wide open - waiting for their turn to take their shoes off on the 3 inch x 3 inch doormat (on the inside of the house. Lest that 3 inch x 3 inch portion of the hall carpet by trodden on). You can always tell the order that they came in and the ones who have not learned to be acrobatic enough to swing themselves on the coat rack bar like they are in the shoe removal Olympics and they are bringing it home for the motherland by how wet their socks are. (There should be commas in my post but Swedes do not use commas in Swedish so all my commas in English vanished somewhere over the Atlantic when I moved. They reprogrammed them right out of me in SFI. Oooooo you can use that for your next blog. "Where have all the commas gone...long time pashing...")

karen said...

kara- you promised to resurrect your shoe blogs again. Do it ! and add that.....Perhaps 1 week 5,000 words and a whole truckload of ,,,, and !!!! and@&$&&*$ and((((( and ))))))) and ??????? and !?!?!? is not enough even to devote to this.

but you got a point abotu the ,,,,,,- I LOVE ,,,,,, and I HATE the fact that they don't like ,,,,,
I may take it on.....I think it might be right up my PUNCTUATION alley!!?!?!?

Matthew Celestine said...

I think the Swedish custom of removing shoes is wonderful. I think we are slowing moving in that direction here in the UK, but it is taking time.

I find it really interesting how American ex-pats living in Japan think removing shoes is wonderful, while American ex-pats living in Sweden and Norway think it is tacky and abhorrent.

By the way, I have an whole blog about removing shoes in homes: Shoes Off at the Door, Please You might want to take a look.

karen said...

Celestial,
WOW! Let's hear it for differences of opinion! I thank you for taking the time to read my tirade, and I enjoyed looking at your lovely blog!
And I'm all for people being on two sides of the fence about the issue.
But likely you understand that once you are 47 years old, and have been raised in a culture where asking people to take shoes off inside is flat-out rude and pretentious , and also as a clothing designer who appreciates the "total look", I suppose you can at least appreciate that we are on different sides of the fence!
But, mind you- provided I remember, I do take my shoes off in Sweden when I go to somones home and suffer along with my increased sock and hosiery budget and my frozen feet as merrily as I am able!
again, thanks for taking the time to read my blog on this! It's all quite amusing,really!
best
Karen